


Lovebugging You

by OQueenE



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, No Re-Curse, Post 3a, semi/mildly serious, somewhere in that spectrum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5260466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OQueenE/pseuds/OQueenE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a night of excessive drinking, Emma unwittingly awakens a new player in town, who's got their sights set on Regina</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This spawned from a ridiculous prompt that I gave myself. Reviews are really appreciated as this is my first multi-chapter fic, and I'm still learning and developing as a writer. Thanks, hope you enjoy.

Certain clichés always annoyed Emma Swan. But here she was, riding shot gun in her own police cruiser, careening over the Storybrooke docks towards the open water, and time really did feel like it was standing still. Or at least slowing down to a ridiculously slow enough pace for her to think about everything in the last two days that had lead up to this point.

Most of this, yes, was indeed her fault, she notes internally as a scream escapes her throat. Perhaps, if she had listened to her currently powerless and fuming companion and magic teacher, none of this would have happened.

“Never mix alcohol and magic, Miss Swan,” she’d say in her super serious voice, even when Emma had merely suggested the aid of alcohol to ease some of the serious tension and tone out of their lessons. Then she’d level her with that ‘I’m serious, don’t be a Charming (idiot) about this stuff’ look before finishing her warning with, “You need to be focused at all times as it is very delicate and always comes with a price.”

Oh well. Nothing she could do about it now.

At least the imminent death of the town’s police cruiser wouldn’t be on her conscience. She smiled inwardly at this, her body lifting off the passenger seat as the vehicle reached its midair peak, before its decent towards the cold November water.

Emma glanced over to the woman driving them to their potential deaths. Brown eyes focused on her target, teeth bared, white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, foot still flooring the gas pedal; she was completely oblivious, the realization of where they were headed hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

Months from now she’d probably be able to laugh about all of this, maybe at Granny’s with a cup of coffee or cocoa, but at this moment she sucked in a breath, closed her eyes, and braced for impact.

\----- Two Days Ago ----

The bass thumped loudly at the Rabbit Hole, which was at full capacity tonight. Themed nights at the bar always brought in more people. Odd, Emma thought, considering it was a Sunday night, and the theme was Disney of all things. She didn’t dwell on the absurdity of the town for long though. Her drinks were on someone else’s tab tonight, and she had no intention of doing anything remotely close to thinking. 

After months of clean up from Pan, Cora, and the curse breaking, Emma and her Sheriff’s Department had finally fallen into a routine. A boring, repetitive, lack luster routine, but a routine nonetheless; they’d answer a few calls, patrol, and check on the more “dire” complaints. Most of those “dire” complaints entailed lost pets or paranoid calls from Sneezy, who assumed every person under the age of thirty entering his pharmacy was stealing something. On her day off she’d received a phone call about a loitering blonde, hanging suspiciously around the candy aisle. 

It had been her.

Emma was stuck in clichéd small town cop hell.

Initially the blonde had been reluctant to attend tonight’s festivities; her boredom had infiltrated into her system far enough where anything other than movie and tv marathons involved too much work. And depending on the location of the remote, even that was too much effort some days. Her deputy was persistent though, and after a week of nagging, Ruby finally coaxed her out of the apartment by offering to pay for her drinks.

Emma leaned forward a bit, bringing the straw from her mystery fruity drink to her mouth. It was some multicolored concoction that Mary Margaret picked out because it looked pretty. Emma thought it looked like it came from a unicorn’s asshole. And given the fact that Storybrooke was full of fairy tale characters and creatures, it very well could have.

Speaking of her mother, the blonde glanced away from her floating beer bottle quickly to make sure Snow wasn’t watching her. Snow knew about the magic lessons and would definitely nark on Emma if she saw her playing around with some harmless magic. The bottle wobbled and fell to the table. She quickly grabbed it before it fell to the floor.

Emma could practically hear Regina scolding her and taking away the bottle. Though the woman wasn’t with the group tonight, she still felt her presence, like an ornery gnat that wouldn’t stop buzzing around her head. She smiled to herself and continued to float her empty beer bottle in front of her. 

They’d grown closer since Neverland, after coming up with a custody arrangement for Henry; one week with each mom, trading him off at their Friday night dinners, which were usually held at the Mills’ Mansion. Emma had been staying longer, spending the later part of evening with Regina in the living room or her study, chatting over a drink or two. Though the weekly routine had become something Emma looked forward to, she was always trying to get the other woman to do something out of the house.

Sighing, she took a long sip of her Roseart inspired drink and cleared a space for the tray of shots Ruby brought to their high round table.

“Where’s Belle? And Snow?” Ruby asked, looking at the empty seats.

“Tron and Bambi are on the dance floor.” Emma pointed to the rhythmically challenged duo near the speakers. She’d be eternally grateful for the fact that she inherited her father’s dancing genes.

“Ok. Be right back.” Ruby, who was dressed as Ho White, much to Snow’s chagrin, ran off to grab them, leaving Emma alone with her near empty mixed drink again.

She took the final sip of her drink and looked around. She nodded to her other deputy, Leroy, located at a table near the bar. He and the other dwarves brought their A-game, and had gone as Ariel and her mermaid sisters, complete with bedazzled pasties. It wasn’t particularly pretty, but it was definitely one of the more creative costumes of the night. Granny, as King Triton, sat at their table too. Emma’s eyes narrowed when she saw the crossbow duct taped to a broomstick, fashioned into a makeshift trident. She made a mental note to take it away from the elderly woman in an hour, when she undoubtedly got more rowdy. 

Ruby returned with the other two in tow and handed out shots to each of them.

“First round, I dedicate to my friends. I love you all, almost as much as I love tequila.” Ruby smiled as they clinked their glasses together.

Emma still wished Regina were here with them. She had invited the stubborn woman to join the group tonight, but after Snow denied her costume idea of Hunter, Regina decided to have a movie night with Henry instead.

“Remember, I’m the D.D., so I can only do one more shot,” Snow reminded her scantily clad counterpart. 

“Yeah, yeah. I remember. Round two is Jägermeister!” Ruby handed out the remaining shots on the tray. Snow stared at it with offended disgust. 

“Cheers guys, we’re gonna have so much fun tonight.”

“Jesus, Ruby. Tequila and Jäger? These two don’t even play well by themselves.” Emma winced as the black liquid went down her throat. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

“You aren’t paying, so you don’t get a say in any of the beverage choices. And since you keep saying how bored you are, I plan on getting you thoroughly fucked up tonight. That way you won’t be bored tomorrow.” Ruby smiled sweetly at Emma.

“I’ll be hungover and sick.”

“But at least you won’t be bored.”

“You’re an ass.”

“And you need more alcohol.” Ruby flashed Emma a victorious grin before grabbing the tray and walking back up to the bar.

Emma rolled her eyes and started chewing on the straw from her long gone rainbow drink.

“You know you don’t have to drink everything she brings over, right?” Snow reminded her. 

Emma nodded. She knew she should probably slow down a bit. The four drinks she’d consumed in the hour that they’d been here were catching up with her. Her head felt a little fuzzy and her coordination was slipping. She placed her hand over Snow’s, knocking over her empty beer bottle on the way.

“I know. But she’s right, I wanted some excitement,” she smiled and squeezed her mother’s hand, then leaned back in her chair, “So tonight I’m going to drink myself stupid and I’m going to have fun doing it.” She stood when Ruby returned. “Care to dance with me, Ho White?”

“I’d love to, Lord Vader.”

Emma grabbed Ruby’s hand and one of the beers she returned with, and lead them to the dance floor.  
Snow shook her head and watched on as the two were intercepted by Belle and dragged to Leroy’s table. She had a feeling this night wasn’t going to end well and let out a long sigh.

\---- ---- ----

“Challenge, sister!” Leroy’s gruff voice yelled over the loud music. “Three shots. Whoever is last to finish has to work nights for the next two weeks.”

“You know that, even if I lose, I still have final say in scheduling, right?” Emma said and placed her beer on the table, quirking her eyebrow.

“Oh come on, Em. Be adventurous!” Ruby pleaded.

The blonde relented and agreed to the challenge, but not before sending a pointed glare Ruby’s way. Something Emma had clearly mastered from Regina.

“So what is it?” Emma asked as Belle carefully placed a tray with nine shots onto the table.

“Four Horsemen shots!” Belle exclaimed. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Emma groaned. The stagnant oil from her car would taste better than this drink. She made a disgusted face as she grabbed her shots and lined them up. “I hate all of you.”

“All right ladies,” Granny boomed, ignoring the glare from Leroy, “Three, two, one!”

Emma slammed her final glass to the table first, and quickly grabbed her beer to chase the strong flavor with. Ruby was second to finish, wincing as she set the last glass down.

“Enjoy the night shift, Leroy, we appreciate it.” Emma winked before walking back towards the dance floor.

The last thing she remembered was dancing in between Belle and Ruby to some bass heavy pop ditty.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo, soooo sorry for the long wait. Yes, I am still working on the fic. Unfortunately life (work) gets in the way, and it tends to drain my engergy. I'm also super self critical of my writing, and that slows any updates as well. *sigh*
> 
> Special thanks to MischiefArtist for being my super beta. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Squee.  
> And Thank You to EatSleepRepeat for being my guinea pig beta, and putting up with all my random texts about this (drunk and sober).  
> I'd apologize to both of you for the drunken texts, but you both know that'd be a lie.  
> Thank you again for all your help. I don't think either of you know how much I really appreciate the help.

It was true, the older you got the harder it was to get over a hard night of drinking. In the two days since that night at the bar, Emma was still feeling the residual effects of her malicious hangover. And failing to remember anything that happened after the shots. She hadn’t been blackout drunk in years.

David returned to work on Monday from his weekend fishing trip to find Ruby and Emma clutching waste baskets in their laps, while they did their paperwork with shaking hands. Both women were looking disheveled with nearly irreparable bed head, wearing whatever they seemed to have slept in. They looked down right sick. He shook his head and sent both women home. Ruby barely waited for him to finish his sentence before she was out the door, not even bothering to properly file her paperwork. Emma stubbornly refused, insisting she was perfectly capable of doing a bit of boring paperwork. David ended up resorting to using the dad card to get the blonde, his superior, out, after her third trip to the restroom within an hour.

The extra day of rest and recovery helped dispel most of the hangover, but Emma still couldn’t piece together the later events of that night. 

She knew she ended up at Regina’s house, on her couch, inexplicably in the other woman’s clothes. How she got there, when she got there, or why she awoke there however was still a mystery. 

Her stomach began churning, the knots of post drinking embarrassment began to form, and potential regret about what she may have said or done lingered at the edge of her mind.

She paused momentarily from biting into her third donut and thought about it. 

Not that she wasn’t thankful for it, but she hadn’t even received a text or call from the older woman giving her a hard time about her drunken antics, whatever they may or may not have been. Or even an inquiry about her post drinking well being (not that the later was very likely to happen).

Shit, she hadn’t even received a ‘return by’ date for the borrowed clothes. Weird. 

Emma shrugged to herself and bit into her donut in an attempt to distract herself from what that could mean. 

The delicious sugary, fluffy texture of the pastry helped her temporarily forget about Regina’s odd silence. 

She also ignored her own early arrival to work.

Emma sat at her desk at the ungodly hour of six, normally completely uncharacteristic of her, but Granny had a Tuesday ‘Buy Two, Get Two Free’ special on donuts every week, and she had happily cashed in. Arriving to the diner before the town woke up ensured she got first pick on all the pastry confections. Never again would she get there after the hoard of dwarves. She hoped the fried food and extra large coffee would dispel the remaining bits of her hangover. 

Taking another bite of her donut, she heard the front doors of the station rattle violently.

Rolling her eyes, she crammed the last section of the donut into her mouth and wiped the remaining crumbs on her pants. Having entered the building from the rear door, where employees parked, she was unaware that Leroy had locked the front doors after his shift. She figured this was his silent ‘Fuck You’ to herself and Ruby for winning the shot race, and accepted that this would be a daily occurrence for the next three weeks, until he was relieved of his night shift duties. 

Emma stood up and grabbed her keys, less than eagerly awaiting whatever emergency this particular resident had at, she squinted her eyes to see the clock on the far wall, five after six in the morning. She barely made it a foot from her desk when Regina appeared in a cloud of purple smoke, startling the blonde so badly she stumbled backwards. The chair wheel caught the back of her boot, and she fell ungracefully to the cold floor. Regina loomed in front of her. 

Emma grumbled as she continued her lack of grace and climbed into her chair, doing a slow scan of eyes up to see Regina. 

“Swan!” Regina growled, her forehead vein clearly prominent, the silent but visible accomplice to her anger, warning Emma that she should tread carefully, “Perhaps I foolishly assumed we were on somewhat amicable terms, and I know you can be infuriatingly dense at times, borderline oblivious,” she articulated before continuing, “but even you couldn’t have been able to ignore the sound it would have made.”

Emma didn’t hear anything after “Swan”. She was completely distracted by the sight of Regina in workout clothes instead of one of her usual tailored power suits. 

It was like a scene from one of her more recent (and more frequently occurring) dreams. Emma knew her feelings for Regina were steadily growing past ‘just friends’, and this outfit was not helping her keep her thoughts straight. 

Green eyes raked over the brunette’s form; taking in the way the black compression pants contoured to her toned legs, and the way the loose fitting tank top showed off her defined arms. The black sports bra teasing itself into view was just a bonus. 

She exhaled shakily, and continued to stare in appreciative surprise at the former, but soon to be reinstated, mayor, completely missing whatever it was that the brunette was saying. 

“Miss Swan, did you even hear me!?” Regina yelled, throwing her hands out to her sides. 

Emma blinked a few times and shook her head. “Ugh, no. Sorry. Is this a normal thing? You going to the gym?” She continued to eye the other woman, taking long appreciative glances at the toned muscle displayed in front of her. Reel it in, Swan.

Regina rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. “Sheriff Swan, I want to know why there is a series of yellow gashes decorating the entire side of my car.” Taking a step forward, she placed her hands on Emma’s desk, leaning over and eyeing the blonde with that no mercy glare she perfected long ago.

“It wasn’t me,” Emma said, desperately trying to maintain eye contact. An elegant clavicle gave way to an ample amount of cleavage on display, courtesy of the loose fitting tank. She licked her lips. Reel it the fuck in, Swan.

Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes. She straightened herself upright before crossing her arms. “You’re the only person driving a piss yellow marshmallow around town. Try again.” She deadpanned. 

Emma’s eyes went wide as she gasped with offence. She stood up, meeting the brunette’s glare with her own, at near eye level. “I. Did. Not. Do. It. And if I did, I wouldn’t have just driven off.

“And Bugsley isn’t piss yellow. He’s sunshine yellow…or at least he was at one point…” she added as an after thought. 

Regina cocked an eyebrow and continued to stare at the other woman with her arms crossed. 

“Do you actually think I’d just drive off after hitting your car?” The blonde asked after a few beats of silence. She shifted from foot to foot in her discomfort. 

Regina knew in her gut that it wasn’t something Emma would do, and the guilty feeling of accusing one of her only friends rolled uncomfortably around in her stomach. She couldn’t ignore the evidence though, and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I suppose not. But that doesn’t dismiss the fact that there are giant yellow gashes on my car, or the fact that you’re the only person who owns a yellow vehicle in town.”

“Well, let’s take a look at it. I’ll file a police report-“ Emma began and took a step towards the brunette.

“And do what? The whole side of the vehicle needs replacing.” She extended her arm in the direction of the parking lot, where her car sat, frustration seeping into her voice.

“Let’s just take a look.” Emma lifted her hand towards the door, indicating Regina to lead the way. 

The former queen gave an exasperated huff, and turned towards the door.

“Wait.” Emma took off her brown leather jacket and handed it to the brunette. She knew the only thing keeping the other woman warm right now were the fumes from her anger, and once she cooled down a bit, she’d freeze in her workout clothes. 

Regina looked at the garment, narrowed her eyes at a particular spot near the pocket, then looked at the blonde again.

Emma rolled her eyes and wiped the donut crumbs off of it. “It’s cold out, please take it. You’ll freeze in what you’re wearing.” Even without the jacket, Emma still had two layers, a tank top and a black button up shirt, to keep her warm in the cool November air.

Her eyes unconsciously wandered down Regina’s form again as she waited awkwardly for the other woman to make a move. Goddammit, Swan. Chill a pill.

The corners of Regina’s lips turned up with a knowing smirk. “Ok Sheriff,” she grabbed the jacket, still warm from Emma wearing it, “if you insist.”

Once she zipped herself up, she began walking towards the parking lot. Emma followed, desperately trying to divert her eyes to anywhere but Regina’s backside, and failing miserably.

As they approached, Emma saw that the once immaculate Mercedes now boasted an ugly series of gashes from side mirror to taillight. 

“Jesus, you weren’t kidding. That looks awful.”

“I’m well aware, Sheriff.” Regina bit.

Emma winced at her tone and began looking the car over, writing in her notepad as she circled the car. “This does look a lot like the color of my car,” she said as she crouched down and inspected the damage closer.

“And again, you’re the only one driving a Twinkie around town,” Regina said, prying her eyes away from the small amount of skin exposed due to the blonde’s crouched position. “Explain.” She crossed her arms and eyed the mar on her car with so much distain that Emma could feel it.

“I can’t explain it,” the younger woman stood up and sighed, replacing the notebook in the back pocket of her black jeans, “but we can take a look at my car if you want proof.”

Regina nodded and followed the blonde around the building to the employee parking lot, where Emma had parked her car. 

As they grew closer, Emma noticed the side mirror hanging for dear life by a single black wire, and her own car marred with its own series of unattractive scratches. She gasped and ran the remaining short distance to her car.

“Bugsley! Baby, what happened?” She asked her car with the same fervor a worried mother would to a child. Crouching down, she stroked her car lovingly, in a way of comfort, still assessing the harm. She stared sadly at the damage until she heard Regina cough behind her.

Emma stood to see, once again, the cocked eyebrow and its partner in crime, the ‘I told you so’ smirk, firmly planted on the brunette’s face. 

“I honestly don’t know what happened,” she stated, pout in place, and clearly very confused. “It wasn’t me. I guess someone must have used my car…but why?” she turned back to her vehicle and began stroking it again. “My poor Bugsley,” she whimpered sadly. The repairs were going to cost her a fortune, and probably take the better part of two months to fix in this small, remote town. She groaned at both prospects.

“Miss Swan, the vehicle is older than you. I’m surprised the paint and parts have lasted this long.” She inclined her head towards the driver’s seat, “Shouldn’t you be dusting for prints or something?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ll have to grab the kit from inside.” The blonde sighed, frowning a bit more. “You know, I’ve only been here for fifteen minutes, and I know this wasn’t here when I parked the car,” she motioned to the damaged side of the vehicle. 

“We should check the surveillance video too,” Regina added. 

Emma nodded. Still perplexed as she was, in an odd way she was kind of impressed. As far as she knew, she was the only person in town with any car jacking experience. And car jacking the sheriff? That took some balls.

“May I ask why you chose such a ridiculous name for your rolling death trap?” Regina asked as they walked back into the station.

“You may. But it’s not ridiculous.” Emma put her hands in her pockets to help keep herself warm, walking in stride with the former queen. 

At Regina’s silence she continued. “While I was in prison, I watched a lot of Addams Family reruns and movies. Limited channels and show options, you know, but whatever, I liked it.” The blonde chuckled to herself, “They were the perfect family. Albeit, a little weird, but they loved and supported each other. That’s kind of what made them perfect to me. All my life I wanted that for myself. My own weird little supportive family.” She looked at Regina with a crooked, shy smile in place, “Kind of feels like I got that some days.” 

Regina remained quiet. Though stoic on the outside, her stomach flipped at the implication of what the other woman had said. Did Emma really consider her family? 

She knew full well that she had played a part in the blonde’s lonely childhood, and that she shouldn’t be feeling like this. Wrapping her arms around her middle, to shield from the cool air (and her warring thoughts), she ignored the charming smile that Emma was aiming her way, and tried to focus on the task at hand. 

Emma bumped the brunette with her shoulder to ease some of the tension and bring her out of where ever her thoughts were taking her (she had an idea where they were headed, and wanted to stop that train before it left the station). 

It worked. 

The older woman met Emma’s friendly smile with her own smirk. “It’s still a ridiculous name,” she teased.

“Like you’ve never named your car,” Emma said, goading Regina, and lightly shoving her with her shoulder again.

A rare, genuinely happy smile spread across Regina’s face. She locked eyes with the blonde, “Yes, I’ve named my car Benzday,” before dramatically rolling them.

Holding the door open for Regina, Emma beamed, pleased that even though the other woman was pissed at the current situation, she still played along with her story.

The blonde had just sat down in her worn out office chair, ready to take Regina’s statement, when they both heard a loud bang, like metal on metal, coming from the front parking lot behind Emma’s desk. 

Regina’s eyes widened and she rushed to the window behind Emma, effectively shoving the younger woman out of the way, which was easy due to the wheeled chair the Sherriff was sitting in. Emma clumsily reached for the corner of her desk to stop any further motion from her chair. She stood a second later and peeked out the window to see what had made the noise.

She knew she shouldn’t be surprised, not in this town, not with everything else she’d seen and experienced since she arrived, but Emma couldn’t help the stunned look of bewilderment from passing over her face. The back of Regina’s Mercedes had been smashed by none other than her car, which was now reversing and peeling out of the parking lot. Her own eyes widened comically and she slowly turned her head to regard the woman next to her.

While she was stuck in the Enchanted Forest, Emma heard roars and cries from a few different frightening creatures, most notably the ogre. But none of those sounds were as scary as the growl Regina was emitting as she stared (on tip toes out the high window) at the damaged end of her black car. With both hands up, to placate the woman and to try to come up with an explanation, Emma turned fully to face the former Queen before she could do something irrational, but Regina had her hands up, poofing spell already in motion. In a feeble attempt to ground the woman to the station, Emma lunged for Regina, but only caught the purple tendrils of smoke as she landed hard on her chest and stomach.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” she repeated as she pushed herself up off the floor and ran out of the building.

When Emma got outside, Regina was staring at her Benz, which no longer had a back bumper or a left taillight. She stopped near the dark haired woman, who was holding a white knuckled fist so tight, the fireball that had once been there had now engulfed her entire forearm. Slowly and carefully, the blonde placed her hand on the other woman’s shoulder, in a sort of half assed, but well meant attempt to comfort her. Shrugging it off, Regina turned to face Emma, eyes blazing with a type of rage she hadn’t seen since her early days in Storybrooke. 

Just as the brunette was about to send off a slew of curses at the blonde (and her car), they heard the screeching of tires coming from down the street. Both their heads snapped to the direction it came from, and they saw the offending vehicle rounding the corner half a block away, front bumper dragging on the pavement, leaving a streak of sparks in its wake.

In a blind fit of rage, Regina took off after the car by foot, double white knuckle fisting fireballs as she ran. Emma watched wide eyed as the former (but soon to be reinstated) mayor sprinted down the street. Imagining the reactions of the weary townsfolk at the sight of the former Evil Queen, fireballs in hand, running down main street in the early morning, and the confused panic ridden chaos that that would cause, brought Emma out of her momentary stupor. Completely forgetting that she had a perfectly useable and unscathed police issued Ford Crown Victoria at her disposal, Emma sprinted after Regina, who was already three blocks ahead of her.

It didn’t take the blonde very long to realize how out of shape she was. Already huffing two blocks into her chase, and barely catching up to the brunette, who very clearly had been working out for quite some time, if her stamina was anything to go by. 

But Emma pushed herself, and soon she was only a block behind Regina, who had just rounded the corner to Granny’s. Teeth bared and still double fisting fireballs.

Great. 

So much for trying to keep her rage suppressed and out of sight from the townsfolk. Emma sighed and slowed down, losing steam at a rapid rate.  
The morning crowd at the diner would definitely have witnessed their “reformed” Queen, and soon to be mayor, running by and rumors would spread. 

And having the Sheriff chasing after her didn’t help the looks of things.

Emma groaned internally at the damage control she’d have to do for this.

She also groaned for a completely different reason.

Not starting her day off with an appropriate breakfast, or even consuming it at a normal pace was a glaring mistake. Feeling the contents of her stomach slosh and roll around unpleasantly, Emma finally rounded the corner to Granny’s, bracing herself against the fence. 

There were few things the Sheriff regretted in her life of mistakes and brash decision making, but this breakfast was definitely one of them.

She regretted it all over the bushes in front of the diner.

Still hunched over, Emma wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and looked over her shoulder at the familiar sound of David’s truck’s squeaky brakes, and saw him exit his truck to head into Granny’s. 

The blonde let out a shaky sigh of relief when she noticed Regina double backing, jogging back towards her from where she was, halfway down the next street. Emma picked the stray blue sprinkle from her hair, and walked towards the other woman, paying no attention to the disgusted looks from the dinners inside the building.

She’d only taken a few steps when the last remaining bit of health she had to her already bad pallor disappeared. 

David had the fantastic habit of leaving his truck running while he tended to small errands; like picking up cough syrup, purchasing a soda, or buying donuts. Having only lived in small town Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest, he was unaccustomed to carjacking, something big city dwelling Emma had warned him multiple times about. 

Regina knew of David’s habit, as she’d been present for (and happily enjoying) a few of his reprimands from Emma.

Emma realized that Regina, her “on amicable terms” friend, was not coming back for her, but for the truck. She let out a defeated, “Oh no…” and watched the brunette climb into the truck and slam the door shut.

David came running out of the diner, glazed donut in his mouth, and take away bag in hand, near tripping over his own feet in his haste to stop the former Queen.

“Hey! What are you-“ he began, removing the donut from his mouth, obvious confusion written all over his face. 

“Official town business. You understand,” she said, already shifting the truck into reverse, not even looking at him.

“What? You’re not even…mayor,” he trailed off, still utterly confused, watching as she sped away.

Well, as fast as anyone could go in first gear.

“I just got car jacked by Regina. Care to explain?” David asked, seeing Emma approach in his peripheral vision, but still watching his truck drive away. He took another bite of his donut.

“Well, you left your car running. I’ve warned you multiple times,” Emma said. She joined her father in watching the truck slowly putter down the road, and placed her hands in her back pockets. 

“It’s a stick...can she drive a stick?” he asked fearfully for his precious truck.

The truck groaned and squealed down the road as if to answer his question.

David let out a small whimper for his noble steed and took another bite of his donut.

Finally snapping back to what she should be doing, chasing after Regina, Emma turned to David, “Look, I can’t explain it right now, but I really have to go after her.”

Another loud grinding sound came from the truck before a squeal of tires was heard. Looks like someone figured out how to get into second gear…

“Shit.” Emma exhaled a large breath. Catching up to the brunette was going to be almost impossible now, unless she has a vehicle of her own. If she ran back to the station to get the patrol car, she’d lose sight of Regina. She put her hand through her hair and tried to come up with a quick solution to her problem.

“Is everything ok? We saw the Evil Queen steal your truck,” Doc asked with urgency. He emerged from Granny’s with the other dwarves in tow. Apparently he was second in command when Leroy gone.

“And she had firearms,” Sleepy added.

“She’s not the Evil Queen anymore,” Emma groaned, rolling her eyes. She’d had this conversation with them a few times already. Hell, even Mary Margaret had.

Emma’s eyes landed on the car keys Doc was twirling unconsciously in his fingers. She took two steps, until she was right in front of the shorter man. “Doc, I need your car. Please,” asking with a hint of desperation in her voice.

“Why…?” he asked skeptically, taking a step back. He stopped twirling his keys and held them tightly in his fist. 

“Because I need to follow Regina.” She looked over her shoulder in time to see the truck turn down Pierce Street. “Please.”

“If she’s not evil, then why do you need to follow her?” Tom, Sneezy, whatever the hell they called him now, piped in.

“Look, something’s going on and we’re trying to figure it out. Police stuff, ok?” The blonde said, trying to reign in her growing frustration.

“But she’s not police. And how do we know you are?” Doc asked, still slowly inching away from the blonde.

“Seriously?” Emma asked, her voice rising in agitation and exasperation. “I’m the goddamned Sheriff-”

“Well, where’s your badge?” Happy asked, also butting in.

Sliding her hand down to her belt, where she normally always clipped it, Emma yelled pointedly, “It’s. Right. Here.” Though, not feeling the sharp, cool points of her Sheriff’s star, she looked down to find that it indeed was not there. 

Quickly looking to her other side and feeling all her pant pockets to double check that she really hadn’t clipped it on herself, the blonde suddenly remembered where her precious badge was.

In her coat pocket.

Her coat that was currently being worn by Regina.

Emma let out a long sigh and put her hands to her temples, rubbing a few small circles to ease the oncoming headache at this predicament. “My badge is in my coat,” she said calmly, “and Regina is wearing my coat.” She placed her hands back at her sides and looked at Doc again. “Please give me your car.”

“How do we know she’s not trying to take over the police force by gaining control of the Sheriff’s position?” Doc asked, his eyes narrowing further. 

“How do we know you’re not working with her? You two have been spending an awful lot of time together.” The dwarf turned suddenly to David, who had been watching all this unfold with rapt amusement, “What if the Evil Queen has gotten to your daughter?”

The other dwarves nodded in agreement.

“Where the hell is this coming from?” Emma yelled, throwing her arms out. “She’s not the Evil Queen!” She took a step towards Doc, finger jabbing at his chest, “Quit saying she is! And you know what? We’re friends,” emphasizing the word ‘friends.’ “Friends hang out. They hang out more when they share a kid.”

The blonde now stood almost flush against the older man, looking down on him from her obvious height advantage. She missed Bashful and Sneezy’s subtle air quotes and side eyes when she mentioned “friends.”

“Now I’d appreciate it if you stopped insulting her. And I’d also appreciate you lending me your car,” she ended with an almost growl.

“You know, the Evil Queen used to use intimidation as a scare tactic too,” Happy informed. He looked ato a few of the other dwarves, who all nodded in unison.

Emma rounded on him so fast he nearly fell backwards. She was about to release a line of cursing at him, but was suddenly hit in the head with a particularly heavy set of keys. 

“Ow,” rubbing the back of her head, she looked up to see Ruby from one of the diner’s second story windows.

“You can take my car if you all just shut the hell up. I can’t fucking sleep with all your shouting,” Ruby complained. She looked half asleep, hair a mess, clearly also in the final lap of Hangover Hell, same as Emma.

“You’re gonna let her drive your car after what she did to the Queen’s car earlier this morning?” Doc asked incredulously. 

“Yeah-Hey maybe that’s why she’s stealing cars. Revenge!” Happy concluded. He looked to the other dwarves who all seemed to agree with him.

“If it gets you all to shut the hell up, I don’t care if she drives my car over Toll Bridge,” Ruby barked.

Emma groaned at their seemingly unending stupidity and face palmed herself. “Wait, you saw it happen?”

All six dwarves nodded.

Emma knelt, picked up the keys and looked to David, “Hey can you…” and pointed to the group she just spent the last few minutes arguing with. “I really need to go-“

“Yeah, I’ve got it.” He looked at her funny and reached to her hair, “You’ve got a…” and plucked out a purple sprinkle, with a confused expression.

A light blush colored Emma’s cheeks as she thanked him and ran to the back of the diner, where Ruby’s Camaro was parked. 

Releasing a sigh of relief as the engine roared to life, Emma silently thanked her deputy for letting her borrow the much speedier car. Catching up to Regina would be a breeze in this baby.


End file.
